(I am just back from eastern part of Nepal after a month in there.)
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Happy New Year
(I am just back from eastern part of Nepal after a month in there.)
Friday, December 01, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS
'WOMEN STRUGGLE, WOMEN RESIST'
Venue: Gorky Sadan, Kolkata
Inauguration: 29th November 2006, 6 pm
The exhibition will contune till 4th December 2006, 3 pm - 8 pm
Violence against women has many dimensions – psychological, emotional, physical, and it is perpetrated in many spaces – domestic, social, state. Violence against women has risen at an unprecedented rate. The trauma that women undergo is not measurable or quantifiable statistical analyses and lengthy reports tell us little about the horrors of violence, or of women's courage. The international photography exhibition 'Women Struggle, Women Resist' is part of a process of initiating social changes – it documents not only the struggles but also the resistance of women to domestic and state violence. Visually stimulating and thought-provoking, these photographs by socially committed national and international photographers lay bare, question, challenge and go beyond the stereotypical 'grieving mother' or 'women of sorrow' and present those women who have both resisted and survived. In a section of this exhibition one encounters the women of Manipur who with fierce courage, inner strength and a collective sense of dignity have brushed aside the limitations of victim hood and resolutely stood against the torments and tortures of state violence.
This exhibition will not end here – it would continue as a touring exhibition, not confined to galleries and circumscribed wall spaces so that it can reach out to a larger section of people with its striking collection of images and stories. I congratulate all the women who have shown the courage to fight back and have consented to be documented by the photographers. I thank the photographers for participating in this exhibition and for their continuing dedication to the cause of violence against women and girls. At the same time, I grieve the absence of images by women photographers without whose participation the exhibition remains incomplete.
Suvendu Chatterjee
Curator
Drik India
The event is organized in collaboration with Swayam, and International Association of Women in Radio and Television, and is supported by
Ford Foundation.
ALL ARE WELCOME
For more information contact:
Ms Supreeta Singh
Drik India
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Ranga De Prachanda
Friday, November 17, 2006
My pix on Nepalitimes again
© Deependra Bajracharya
For detail story clik here (ie:link to recent NepaliTimes issue #323 (17 November 06 - 23 November 06)
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Saturday, November 11, 2006
BARTA SING WITH KUTUMBA
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
Many comments on photo
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Begining of Ibsen Festival's in Kathmandu
The father of modern drama, Henrik Johan Ibsen (March 20, 1828 – May 23, 1906) was an extremely influential Norwegian playwright who was large responsible for the rise of modern realistic drama. Some of his famous plays are A Doll's House, Hedda Gabler, The Wild Duck, Enemy of the People, Master Builder, Peer Gynt, Brand, The League of Youth, Ghosts, The Lady from the See etc.
During his lifetime he earned an international reputation for his psychological dramas that frequently commented on social issues of the day. His plays are one of the most frequently performed in the world. He once said in a speech to students, “And what does it mean then to be a poet? It was a long time before I realized that to be a poet means essentially to see, but mark well, to see in such a way that whatever is seen is perceived by the audience just as the poet saw it. But only what has been lived through can be seen in that way and accepted in that way. And the secret of modern literature lies precisely in this matter of experiences that are lived through. All that I have written these last ten years, I have lived through spiritually.”In Nepal Aarohan theatre group and Gurukul: School of Theatre is also organizing a 'Nine-day long' International Ibsen Theatre Festival from 1st to 12th November, 2006. It will be a multi dimensional program including performances of Ibsen's plays by Asian and European theater groups, publication of literature by and on Ibsen in both English and Nepali, Interaction and talk program on Ibsen as well as contemporary Nepali theatre, Classical music performance.
We are sure that the festival of this grandeur is happening for the first time in Nepal, and it will be a 'Grand Step' in the promotion of Nepali theatre.
The following is the detailed description of the programs of the festival:
1 Theatrical performances: Theatre groups from Nepal, India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, England, Canada, Syria, Mauritius, Denmark & Norway are participating with their grand performances of Ibsen's drama. There will be two performances of every plays.
2 Publication of Literature by and on Ibsen: Commemorating Ibsen's 100th death anniversary we are publishing to case books (one in English & another in Nepali), Nepali translation of Ibsen's "A Doll's House".
3 Press meet and talk program: Each theatrical performance will be followed by press meet and talk program on Ibsen as well as contemporary Nepali theatre.
4 Classical music performance: Sukarma, a reputed music band of Nepal, will present a classical music performance based on Ibsen.
5 Reception:There will be reception on the opening and closing evening.
Date: 1- 12 November 2006.Venue: Sama Theatre and Rimal Theatre, Gurukul, Old Baneshwor, Kathmandu.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Hey, Amnesty int'l Japan is having the walking tour about Nepal
現地ジャーナリストが語る内戦の現実 ~紛争に苦しむネパール・3~
アムネスティ・インターナショナル@ネパール
2006年10月31日
これは私の心の奥にしまっておいた話だ。 badhi kids who live in poor area of Nepal
(C)Usha Titikshu ネパールの貧困地域バディの子どもたち
(C)Usha Titikshu ネパールの貧困地域バディの子どもたち badhi kids who live in poor area of Nepal
マオイストの軍事訓練。女性兵士の赤いリボンが印象的だった。一個小隊に一人か二人、女性兵士の姿があった。2001年8月撮影 (C)八木澤高明
(C)八木澤高明
私たちはともに遊び、冗談を言い、一緒にいろいろな活動をした。私は幼いころの彼との思い出を忘れることができない。2人は将来のことについてもよく話し合った。彼は、自分自身や家族、国についてたくさんの夢を持っていた。ネパールで人に認められる立派な人間になりたいというのは2人に共通の願いだったが、親友のトプジュン・ガタラジにとっての一番の願いは、家族が貧しさから抜け出すことだった。
10学年の最終試験を受けた後、私たちは4年間を過ごした高校を後にし、故郷の村に帰った。その後しばらくして、知人からトプジュンが反政府軍に参加するために家を出たことを聞いた。彼の家族は泣いていたという。
まさか! 心の中にたくさんの疑問が噴出した。国での活躍を夢見ていた彼がなぜマオイストに?
たしかに彼は貧しい家庭に生まれたため、政治に対する不満をもっていた。貧しい家庭の出身であり、カーストがダリット(カースト外の不可触民)である彼は、この社会で成功することはあり得なかった。成績は中くらいだが正直でまじめな生徒だった彼が、もし大学に進学したいと思っても、家族は学費を出すことができただろうか? 卒業後の展望が持てなかった彼は、共産主義を説く統一人民戦線の指導者の演説を聞いて、党に参加することに彼の将来を見いだしたのだろうか? そういえば、10学年の終わりに近いある日、彼はもうすぐ統一人民戦線が貧しく虐げられた人びとのために戦いを始めると言い、私を党に誘ったことがあった。私がとりあわなかったため、彼は私を無視し、悪口を言うようになった。今思えば、そのときすでに彼は党員になっていたのだった。
彼についてのたくさんの疑問を抱えながら、私は1時間のみちのりを歩いて彼の家に行った。母親や家族に彼のことを尋ねたが、だれも答えることはできなかった。最後に彼の一番上の兄が帰って来て詳しく話してくれた。彼は昨日の朝出て行き、友人とともに、家から3時間ほど離れたところにある警察の襲撃に加わったということだった。私は言葉を失い、一言だけなぐさめのことばを残し家に帰った。心配で胸がいっぱいだった。
training of Maoist army,i impressed red ribon of girls soldger. i saw one or two girls in a battlian
Photos bBy Takaki Yagisawa Colour)
Monday, October 30, 2006
WHO CARES ?
Thursday, October 19, 2006
‘Bahini’ Barta in Japan
गरिब भई जन्मनु पर्यो We poor, amidst the poverty
दासी भई बाँच्नु पर्यो Living a life of a servant
कोही मर्छन दु:खै दु:ख ज्यानको बाजी राखी One bets even life to live,
कोही हिड्छन् सु:खै सु:खमा गरीबलाई दाली Other live with ecstasy suppressing the poor-
गरिब भई जन्मनु पर्यो We poor amidst the poverty
दासी भई बाँच्नु पर्यो Living a life of a servant
लोकतन्र्त आईसक्यो सबै अघि बढौ Now with democracy, let's move to the fore-
सबै मिलि एकजुत भई अघि सरौ United we can establish a peace forever.
गरिब भई जन्मनु पर्यो We poor amidst the poverty
दासी भई बाँच्नु पर्यो Living a life of a servant
Song and music by Gandharva
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Fire In Monastrey
My experience of watching "Agni Ko Katha" (A story of fire) in Gurukul proved to be romantically thrilling and hilariously exhilarating. Of all the scenes, one scene was particularly striking.Gyan, a seeker of truth and knowledge comes back to his village, perhaps his birthplace. He comes to his village because the library in his first monastery is consumed by fire. In the village, there is a small monastery. He goes there. As soon as he reaches the monastery, a bevy of three beautiful girls come. They find him very handsome. One of the girls tickles him, the other titillates him, and the last girl starts rummaging his bag. One of the girls even lifts the long yellow gown of the monk. It looks as if they are going to molest him romantically. Those girls become wildly fond of him. It seems as if those girls are enchantresses, bent on ruining the monk.
How long can the monk resist? As these flirtations reach a crescendo, the monk runs for his life. Once the monk disappears, those girls run around the monastery like deer, begin to giggle, and walk and capture the monastery with the weapon of laughter, giggles, nimble-footed walk and agile movements. It looks as if a monastery is the best place for the consummation of romantic impulse.
This highly sensual and humorous scene in Agni Ko Katha arrested my analytical attention. What did the dramatist Prof. Subedi want to imply by using this scene of sensuality and humour? In addition to this scene, there is another scene in which actress Purnima weeps and wails because Gyan is leaving the first monastery. The pain Purnima endures at the time of Gyan’s separation suggests a high degree of emotional attachment.I believe that by using these scenes of sensuality, perhaps the dramatist wanted to show materialistic elements within Buddhism. The route to salvation and enlightenment is not renunciation only, but aesthetic awareness also. Perhaps, Prof. Subedi subtly wanted to highlight this truth.
Finally, I would like to discuss one eloquent issue. What is Buddhism’s stand on femininity? There is no clear answer. But it is quite certain that there is no idea of gender in the pure creed of Buddhism. Where Gyan’s (a monk) journey for truth ends, Purnima’s (a nun) journey begins. Ultimately Purnima says "I love humanity. I leave the monastery and mix in this world for the emancipation of humanity." Here, I can’t help citing what Prof. Dor Bahadur Bista said regarding Buddhism - "Buddhism is the highest expression of Asiatic humanism, which ultimately brought the world on the threshold of a new civilization." Perhaps, this too is the message that Prof. Dr. Abhi Subedi wanted to give through Agni Ko Katha.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
IIf Your Pictures Aren't Good Enough, You're Not Close Enough...
What I really enjoyed about the film was seeing the methodology of this great photographer. The documentary film makers attached a micro-videocamera onto Natchwey's Canon 1-V so that you could see over his trigger finger right into the action he was shooting. You could see him change shutter speeds and aperture settings. I saw that he used 400 speed film, which is a surprise since his pictures are so sharp. You could see how meticulous he was about taking notes, and about keeping his camera clean in less than ideal circumstances. You could see how he traveled. You could see how interacted with his subject matter. You could see how close he was to the action. It was amazing.
If you want to check out some of Natchwey's work, and I highly recommend it, though it's not for the faint of heart, here are some sites:
James Natchwey's site
www.jamesnachtwey.com/
Thursday, September 28, 2006
'"Shikali Gana Jatra'-1
I am so pleasure to paticipate to observe "Shikali Gana Jatra'' of Khokana, 6 km far away from Patan City while they were celebrating in Dashain Festival as a first time to me. Khokana Village is the same village which is the first place where lit a light from the hydro-electricity ever in Nepal at then Prime Minister Juddha Samsher JBR of rana regime. And also famous of Mustard Oil.
Shikali Jatra, a festival is established by King Aananda Dev Malla and since approx.800 years before. The festival of Shikali, displays colourful danes of Dietys in the Village.
Friday, September 22, 2006
MY NATION?
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Barta Gandarbha
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
MY BELOVED ONE’S
‘He is our only bread winner, It has been difficult to live without him. I’m afraid how the debt is paid.’ Almost after a month of his death his mother Julia Khatun, and wife Hashina Khatun said to me repeatedly. Their economy condition seems to be very bad. They had been living on rent at Bijulibazar, Baneshowre and they had the dream to live here in Kathmandu for ever. So Hashina says, ‘His only dream was to own a house here in Kathmandu.’Which is almost sure not to be fullfilled.
As their neighbourous’ say they had been participating demonstration time and again. He was bored with chaos in daily routine, and for the solace also, he has joined them and participateed in entire together. Recalling the dreadful incident they said. It was 9th of Baishakh, 22 April 2006. A Tailor Master Janghir and his neighbouring shopkeeper Shyam Kumar Jakwal joined the demonstration. At first they went observing to near chowk and with mass enthusiasm they went to Tripureshowre,center of Kathmandu. The demonstration was quite peaceful but a fat man had only climbed the hoardingboard with King’s quation, we were attached with Lathi, Goli and tears gas. Friends were scattered hither and thither. A dump of more than up people was pilled upon. Shyam and Janghir, Shyam came home along the path on Bagmati river but Janghir didn’t come.
It had been down pouring. It stopped. It became dark but he didnot come back. It was already late night, suddenly Janghir himself called from Model hospital. Neighbouring friends, leting armies not to notice, went to the hispital immidately. And only it was known he had got head injury with tear gas cell and bullet.
Only a few days ago his wife gone to her parental home Bihar, in India to attend Marriage cermonial of her relatives. Janghir also had to go but could not manage since no one was there to keep the shop open. Hasina recalls, ‘my mother-in law telephoned me and said he had got head injury and was in hospital.’. Despite curfew and strike she came to meet him on hospital bed. No one could stop her.’ There was a bandage in head, he could talk and even taking food and , and did not want to talk when i met him on 14th . She says,’Nothing was lacked in treatment. Doctor also had said he will be recovered soon. And we were waiting for him to come back and run the shop again.’
But it happend different: catastrophe in his family. He became Martyr Mohammod janghir.
“How cruel some people can be even while tratment some of the money lenders came in hospital to claim their money.’ She speaks her plight. Yhey had a telephone. One of the money lender has taken it away and some of other have taken away sewing machines. Father-in-law, mother-in-law and brother-in-laws went back their home to run their own business.
The shop also is closed. The condition seems to be in the worst condition. She says:’What can i do? Perhaps the aid of government has declared to provide would be enough to pay the debt, if only the government would provide me a job and Nepali citizenship.’
Eldest son mohammad Arphan is being sponsoreed by Nobel Academy for school eduacation. Hashina’s brother also have come here in Kathmandu to support her.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
CROSS THE VERGE:
Pretend King: Student activist Krishna Bahadur Thapa entertains pro-democracy demonstrators wearing a paper crown and with an accurate impersonation of king Gyanendra at a victory rally in Tudhikhel on Tuesday.
(Storm that swayed the Monarchy)
PHOTO + TEXT By: Deependra Bajracharya
A former ambassador to UK said to Journalist during the strike -A Hindu king can’t be under a constitution. He was thought to be an incarnation of Lord Vishnu. He was even regarded enough powerful redeem people from their sins. Once Monarch was revered by all and respected as symbol of unity. King Gyanendra was 10th crowned monarch.
Even the major supporter of constitution monarchy decided to remain either neutral on the question of monarchy or abolished monarchy by omitting the condition from their party manifesto. Public support for all three institutions: the monarch, seven political party alliance and rebel Maoist was dwindling very sharply
Monarchy.
No one has believed that the call for four days strike, aiming to be end of regression by seven party alliance (the seven parties are Nepali Congress, Nepali Congress-Democratic, Nepal Sadbhavana Party, CPN-Unit Marxist, Samyukta Janamorcha, Nepal Peasant’s and worker party, United leftist front.) would mount to the pick of Jana- Andolan, when it was call on 6 April mark to the day of 1990- Jana- Andolan.
Andolan on 19 day was powerful enough to shake the foundation of 237 years old Monarch. Unbelievable, influx of people on the street was immense. Everyone in the demonstration was expressing their deep-hatred to the monarchy. Country has never expressing such and irruption of people in the parties its history before. Nepalis were well over the historical boundaries by then. The movement appeared to be more anti monarch rather than pro-democracy in its nature.
Not a single Nepal, not even the King himself has thought of this situation. Now onwards there are the only question maneuvers in everybody minds, which are - Are we having better Nepal?
Sunday, July 02, 2006
My Number was 6 for death
मार्ने नंबर ६
आलेख + तस्बीर: दीपेन्द्र वज्राचार्य ( फोटो पत्रकार- स्वतन्त्र )
श्रीधर न्यौपाने
पत्रकार, कामना पब्लिकेशन प्रा लि
जन्म घर: सिन्धुपाल्चोक
जन्म: २०३८ श्राबण १०,
पक्राऊ: २०६० चैत्र १३, काष्ठमण्डप बाट
छुटेको: २०६१ बैशाख ८, अदालट बाट
"म त च्याँसे थिएँ, दाई, त्यतिबेला । अफिस को काममा १ बजे तिर सुरज आर्केड, मखन बाट हिड्डै थियौ, काष्ठमण्डप तिर पुगेपछि दूइजना अपरिचित मान्छे पछाडिबाट आएर अंगालो हाले र रातो रंगको ट्याक्सी मा राखे र केहि सोधपुछ गर्नुछ, हामी सुरक्षाकर्मी हौ तर हनुमान ढोकाको होइनौ भने । म चुपचाप बसेँ, मलाई घोप्तो पार्यो, त्यतिबेला HBC FM बजिराखेको थियो, २ बजे बन्द गरियो । आँखामा पत्ति लगायो र हात पछाडी बाट बाँडिदियो, मैले अन्धकार मात्र देखेँ । मलाई घण्टौ ट्याक्सिमा घुमाई राख्यो ।"
पत्रकार श्रीधर न्यौपाने सिन्धुपाल्चोक बाट ब्याचलर अध्ययन गर्न काठमाण्डौं आएका थियो- २०ाााा मा । मार्क्सबाद बाट पहिले नै प्रभाबित ऊनले म्याक्सिम गोर्कीको आमा, आहुति को अग्निदिक्षा, नँयाघर, याङ्मोको युबाहरुको गीत र अन्य धेरै प्रगतिशिल किताबहरु पढिसकेको रहेछ । जेठो छोरा न्यौपानेको दिदी र भाई पनि छ । आफुलाई जन्म दिने आमा नभए पनि दोस्रो आमा का र बुबाका यिनी जिम्मेबार छोरा थिए । मिडिया प्वाईन्टका पत्रकार तालिममा र कामना प्रकाशन प्रा लि को मार्केन्टिङ्ग डिपार्टमेन्टमा काम गरिराखेको ऊनीलाई माओबादी लाई सहयोग गरेको आरोपमा पक्राउ गरेको थियो । तत्कालिन व्यवस्थामा बिशेष कानुन ल्याई माओबादी लाई खाना ख्वाउने वा अरु जे सुकै गरे पनि सहयोग गरे भन्दै समात्न सक्ने अधिकार दिएको थियो । मैले सहयोग गरेको छैन तर पछि मलाई थाहा भयो की मेरो दिदी को कारण मलाई समातेको रहेछ, ऊनी माओवादी सँग आवद्द थिइन । हाम्रो घरमा सुरक्षाकर्मीहरुले सर्च गरेको रहेछ, मेरो फोटो भेटेछ, क्यारे ।
"दाई, यो सर्ट लगाउदाँ अझैपनि गर्व लाग्छ, पाईन्ट लाई लुकाएको छु । जुत्ता चाँहि खत्तम भएछ । मैले २५ दिन सम्म यहि लुगा लगाँए, निरन्तर । मलाई कहाँ राखियो मलाई थाहा भएन । धेरै पछि मैले अनुमान गरेँ की मलाई सामाखुशी गणमा राखेको रहेछ । मलाई आजभोलि आतकंवादी फिल्महरु हेर्दा फिका लाग्दछ - त्यसमा देखाउने सँजाए २ प्रतिशत पनि होइन, जति मलाई दिईयो ।"
उनको यो खबर थाहाभइसकेपछि घरमा नहुनु बेहाल भएछ, बुबा लगायत सबै नै बिरामि भएछ । ८२ बर्षिय हजुरआमा नराम्रो बिरामि भयो अहिले सम्म उठ्न सक्नु हुन्न, प्यारालाइसिस हुनुभयो, ओछ्यानमा पर्नु भयो । बहिनीको slc बिग्र्य्रो । उहाँहरुलाई सबैलेगर्ने ब्यबहार बदलियो । बुबाले चिनेसम्मकोलाई गुहार मागेछ, पुराना आर्मिका साथीहरु थिए-बुबाका, तर केहि कसैले साथ दिएनछ । यसो भएपछि सबै आशा नै मरेर गएछ । बुबा निकै बिक्षिप्त हुनुभएछ । काका ले निकै खोजि गर्नुभएछ, सबै थाँउमा गएर अपिल लेखाएछन् । ऊहाँ साहित्यकार हुनुहुन्थ्यो र बुझ्नुहुन्थ्यो । म जैसिदेवलमा बाहालमा बस्थेँ, त्यो घरको सानो छोरीलाई म पढाउथेँ,उहाँहरुपनि सवै रुनुभएछ ।
"ऊनीहरु ( सुरक्षाकर्मीहरु ) ६-७ जना रहेछन्, दूईजना बाइकमा र अरु ट्यक्सीमा आएछन्, भाँडाका ट्याक्सि रातो रंगको हो, नंबर हेर्ने कुरै भएन, मलाइ भित्र राखे र सिकिस्ट बिरामी लाई झै सबैको काखमा सुताए र हात पछाडी पत्ति बाँढिदिए र आँखामा पत्ति लगाईदिए, मेले प्रतिकार गरेँ तर उनीहरुले हामी वाध्य भएको बताए । म चुपचाप बसिदिए, मलाई कहाँ लगियो थाहा भएन । गोजिमा रु ६००० र अन्य कागजहरु थिए । मलाई १०-११ दिन सम्म एक्लै राखियो, खानामा मासुहरु पनि दिइन्थ्यो र छामेर खान्थ्यौं, ट्वाइलेट जानु पर्यो भेने पाईला गनेर जानु पर्थ्यो, हात खोलिदिन्थ्यो त्यसैले मैले आफ्नै दिशा, अनि त्यो प्वाल र ट्वाइलेटका भित्ताहरु मात्र देखे - २५ दिन सम्म । पछि मलाई, माओवादि को नै आरोपमा समातेको तेजनारायण सापकोटा सँगै राखियो र म उनलाई सापकोटा शर भनेर बोलाउथेँ । बोल्न दिइनन्थ्यो, खासखुश गरेर बोल्थ्यौ । डुय्टीमा जसले समय र बाहिर को केहि कुरा भन्थ्यो उनलाई राम्रो मान्थ्यौं । हिरासत भित्र दिइने पिडामा यौन शोषण पनि हो, मलाई पनि गर्ने कोशिश गरेको थियो तर मैले चाल पाएँ र मैले के गर्न लागेको भने ?, तैले के गर्न लागेको ? भने त्यसपछि मात्र रोके । दाई, मैले यो सबै कुरा आफ्नो उपन्यासमा लेख्दैछु । म मानसिक रुपमा बिक्षिप्त थिएँ । उनीहरुले सुनाएको, एक दिन एक दम्पतिलाई समातेर ल्यायो, दुबैलाई फरक ठाउँमा राखियो तर एकदिन सँगै राखिदियो र संभोग गर्न लगाए सबैको अगाडी । सबैले नराम्रो शब्द बोलिराख्यो रे, यसो बनेर उनीहरु भन्थे ।
बीचबिचमा बोलाउन्थ्यो र निर्घात पित्थ्यो, पैताला मुनि, घाँटिमा, चाकको फिलामा धेरै पिट्थ्यो । यस्तो ठाँउमा कुट्थ्यो जहाँ निशाना नबसोस्, डाक्टर अगाडी राखेर पिट्थ्यो । दिशा पनि बस्न सक्दैनथ्यो । मलाई मुजि फत्रकार, मार्ने संख्या नं ६, रोवर्टो कार्लोस भनेर बोलाउथ्यो । त्यतिबेला मेरो जिवन पशुको भन्दा तल्लो स्तरको झै लाग्थ्यो । चिडियाखानाको अन्धो जनावरलाई उसको रक्षकले टाढाबाट लाठ्ठीले घोचे जस्तै हो । र पनि उनीहरुले दर्शकलाई हेर्न र सुन्न सक्थ्यो, तर हामीले त न केहि देख्न्न नै पायौ न त सुन्न नै । मलाई लाग्थ्यो कि म पागल हुन्छु होला भनेर । मलाई एकपटक नुहाउन दिइयो, बाहिर बसेर १ देखि १०० सम्म गन्थ्यो तर यसरि १ २ ३ ८ १४ १५ १७ १९ २५ गनिदिन्थ्यो, हो, त्यहि समयमा नुहाउन सक्नु पर्ने । उनिहरुलाई जे मन पर्थ्यो त्यहि गराउँथ्यो- स्याल कराउन लगाउने, भुइँमा सुताउथ्यो । के भन्नु छ भन आज तिम्रो पालो हो भन्थे । बौ लाइ चिठ्ठि लेख भन्थे । नं ६ भन्न साथ मेरो मर्ने पालो सम्झनु पर्ने । भित्र रहँदा मनमा कुराहरु आइरहन्थ्यो, घरको मान्छेलाई मारीदिईसक्यो होला, बलात्कार गर्यो होला र अन्य धेरै । मैले केहि पनि प्रतिकार गर्न सकिनँ,जे भन्थ्यो त्यहि गरेँ,म मा शत्ति पनि थिएन । मलाई मारिदिन्थ्यो भन्ने निश्चित थियो । एकदिन एकजना गार्डले अचानक मास्क खोलोदियो र सानो ऐना झलक्क देखाईदियो - आफ्नो अनुहार हेर भने तर मैले के पनि देखेन, किनकी त्यो सबै अचानक गरिदियो । त्यो राम्रो मान्छे थियो, अर्को एक गार्डले पनि साँझ मलाई भन्यो कि पापीहरुले यसरी मान्छे मारिराखेका छन् तिमीलाई पनि भरे मार्दै छन् भन्थे । तिमी जस्तो कलीलोलाई मार्ने हाम्रो मन छैन । केहि कसैलाई भन्नु छ भने भन- तर तिमीलाई यथार्थमा मारिन्दैछन् - भन्थे । मलाई निकै टर्चर गरियो । हतियार चलाउनेले त एक जना मात्र मार्न सकिन्छ तर कलम समात्नेले धेरै जनालाई मार्छन त्यसैले पत्रकारलाई मार्नु परेको, भन्यो । सापकोता शरलाई प्रत्येक दिनको दिउसो गार्डले बोलाएर लैजान्थयो, कहाँ के गर्न थाहा थिएन, एक दिन खासखुस गरेर सोधेँ, शर तपाँइलाइ घेरै पिट्यो की ? होइन हो, उसले त मलाई अंग्रेजी पढाउन पो लगेको मोराले भन्यो ।
२१ दिन सम्म यसरि नै खासखुस गरेर बिताएँ र त्यो दिन म र सापकोता शरलाई बाहिर ल्यायो, अब मार्न ल्यायो होला भन्थाने तर हनुमान ढोका ल्याएका रहेछन् । मलाई जसले समातेको हो उनीहरुले नै ल्याएका रहेछन् । जेल भित्र राखियो, सोचेकि अव जेल जीवन शुरु भयो, हामीलाई अरु कैदिहरुले अचम्म मानेर हेरिराख्थ्यो । धेरै जना पटक पटक आउथ्यो र सोध्थे, मैले मेरो पढाई भन्दा यस्तो पढेको मान्छे भनेर अचम्म मान्थे । तर अप्रत्याशित रुपमा पाटनको पुनराबेदन अदालतको बयान पश्चात मलाई छोडिदियो । हबल्दार र ईनेस्पेक्टर ले तपाँई छुट्यो भन्दै हात मिलाउन आउँदा मलाई बिश्बास नै लागेन र म फटाफट त्यहाँ बाट हिडेँ, पुल्चोक मा आइपुगे र रु १० को फलफुल किनें र ट्याक्सी सम्म ह्वासह्वास् बढेँ र ट्याक्सीमा चदेँ । मलाई लाग्यो कि फेरि मलाई समात्छ होला भनेर र त्येसैले ड्राइभरलाई भनेँ की म भरखर छुटेको, फेरी मलाई समात्न सक्छ यदि समात्यो भने म यो ट्याक्सीबाट छुटेको भनेर अफिसको नं मा फोन गरिदिन अनुरोध गर्दै एउटा कागजमा लेखिदिएँ ।
म सरासर अफिस मा आएँ । अफिस मा प्रिय मित्र नारायण बास्तोला लाई भेटें । उनी मेरो नजिकको साथी हो र मलाई समात्न १ घण्टा अगाडी पनि उनै सँग कुरा गरिराखेको थिएँ । सबै जना आश्चर्यमा थिए र म पनि । मलाई सबैले बेग्लै ढंग ले हेर्यो र धेरै नजिकको साथि देखि आफन्तहरुले समेत २ महिनासम्म राम्रो ब्यबहार गरेनन् । मलाई छुट्टाउन अंकलले धेरै प्रयास गरेका रहेछन् । प्रधान संपादक पुष्कर लाल श्रेष्ठलाई भोलिपल्ट भेटें र मेरो कारण उहाँको घरमा समेत सुरक्षाकर्मीहरुले खानतलाशी गरेका रहेछन् र उहाँले सैनिक प्रमुखलाईसमेत जानकारी गराएकारहेछन् ।
तेस्रो दिन वुबा मलाई भेट्न काठमाण्डौं आउनुभयो र मलाई भेटेर १ घन्टा सम्म बोल्न सक्नु भएन " छोरा, तँलाई धेरै पिट्यो हगि, तँलाई जहाँ जहाँ पिट्यो मलाई पनि त्यँहि त्यँहि दुख्यो ।" बुबा सँगै घर गयौ र गाँउमा पनि सबैले मलाई पिलपिलाउथयो मात्रै र आफ्ना जिक्रि मित्रहरुले पनि १० महिना सम्म बोलेनन् । मलाई अंकलले सम्हाल्नु भयो र भन्नुभयो जे हुनु भैगयो तर मनमा कुराहरु गुम्साएर नबस । अंकलले बुझ्नुहुन्थ्यो 'जे भए पनि कासेकम मिडिया कभरेज त पायौ ।" म निकै डराउने भएथेँ । मलाई सबैमा शंका लाग्थ्यो । म त्यतिबेला ट्युशन पढें तर त्यो शर अलि कडा मिजाशको रहेछ, तर मलाई शंका लाग्यो की यसैले मलाई सोधपुछ गरेको थियो । मलाई कसैले फलो गरीराकेको झै लाग्थ्यो-यस्तो मलाई निरन्तर १ वर्ष सम्म भइनैराख्यो । म एक्लै अफिस जान्थेँ तर एक्लै फर्किन सक्दैनथें । मसँग कोहिन कोहि साथी भइहाल्थ्यो । म मानसिक रुपमा पिडित थिएँ ।
अँध्यारोमा जीबन जिउन सिकिसकेको थिएँ तर पछि बाहिर देख्दा आश्चर्य लाग्यो । केहि हप्तासम्म मलाई फलो गरिराखेको मान्छे देखिराख्थेँ । आफन्त,साथी, भाई सबै डराउँथे । केहि गर्ने आँट, सक्रियता सबै हराएर गए । फेरी पनि समात्ला जस्तो भईराख्थ्यो । म निकै पिडित थिएँ र डराउथेँ । म यहाँ बस्न सक्दिन कि भनेर दिल्लीमा गएर पढ्न जाने पनि कोशिश गरें । दाई, यो हेर्नुस् मैले म छुटेको भोलिपल्ट यो तस्बीर डल्लुको एउटा स्टुडियोमा खिचेँ र यो डायरि लेखेँ, तर मैले सेन्सर गरेर लेखेको छु किनकी तपाँईलाइ थाहानै छ, यो पाना मैले दराजको भित्र तिर लुकाएर राखेको थिएँ । मलाई एक महिनाको तारिकमा छोडेको थियो । म हाजिरमा जाँदा फेरिपनि मलाई समातेर राकिने पो हो कि जस्तो लाग्थ्यो । मलाई निकै कुराउथ्यो तर पनि मैले केहि भन्ने आँटनै हुदैनथ्यो । म हिरासत भन्ने उपन्यास लेख्दैछु, त्यसमा सबै कुराहरु राख्ने कोशिश गरेको छु ।
मलाई PTSD भन्ने मानसिक रोग लागेको रहेछ र मैले बाँसबारिको CIVICT बाट उपचार गराएँ, ऐले मुत्त भएको छु तर पनि कुनै शुक्रबार १३ गते पर्यो भने मन बिक्षिप्त भएर आँउछ । पहिला मेरो आँखा कमजोर थियो, चस्मा लगाउँथे तर आजकाल लगाउँदिन । पहिला यो शर्त हेर्न पनि डर लाग्थ्यो तर आजभोलि यसलाई लगाऊँदा गर्व लाग्दछ । पहिला शुक्रवार सम्म डराउथेँ तर आजभोलि त्यस्तो हुदैन । ICRC ले एक बर्षसम्म खोजि गरेको रहेछ मलाई नभेटेपछि मेरो गृहजिल्लामा समेत खोजि गर्न गएको रहेछ । मलाई मेरो एक जना केटी सथिले पनि निकै काउन्सिलिङ्ग गर्थ्यो । अहिले त मलाई गर्व लागेको छ । अहिले सम्झँदा मैले १५०० जति किताव पढेर पनि नपाउने अनुभब पाएको जस्तो भान भइरहन्छ । मैले हिरासत भनेको थाहा पाएँ । सानो तिनो डिग्रि नै हासिल गरेको जस्तो लाग्दछ । मलाई त्यो सबै न्युन लाग्दछ जो सिनेमा मा देखाइने र किताबमा पढ्न पाईने यातना र पिडा का दृश्यहरु, त्यो त जे जति फिक्शनमा बनाएपनि अपुग नै हुन्छ होला जो मैले भोगेँ । मैले मृत्युलाई निकै नजिकै गएर हरेँ । मैले पछि मेरो रु ६००० हजार खोजे र प्रहरीहरुलाई सोधेँ, उनीहरुले भने तैले खाएर हगिस् भने ।
( हाल सँन्ध्याकालिन दैनिक माहानगर मा कार्यरत पत्रकार श्रीधर न्यौपाने सँग गरिएको कुराकानिमा आधारीत । ) © Deependra Bajracharya
Disaaperiance
Sabitri Ghimere along with photograph of her son Prakash Ghimere at Bagbazar in Kathmandu on Friday 2 June 2006.Prakash was kidnapped by securities forces before three years ago from his own house Banepa, Kavre District as blame to cadre of Nepal Communist party of Maoist. He was a disappearance from the date even his Mother and his family searching in many army barrack and many custody center of different area of Nepal. Today, she is participating in mass gathering, which is organizing by Nepal Communist Party of Maoist on the first time in Kathmandu as publicly. © Deependra Bajracharya